Live Blogging the Crew’s Yahoo High Score Draft
My first year on Torsten’s APA pool team, I decided to get serious about the sport. Bought a cue — black, with red flames licking up the side. Real Fast and the Furious energy.
I wasn’t born coordinated. I was born tall, nearsighted, and could only afford one pair of prescription glasses — and they had small enough lenses that I didn't benefit from them when looking out the tops of my eyes down a pool cue. I was basically Charlie Sheen in Major League before they called an optometrist.
I started out as a two — the lowest of the low. Couldn’t buy a win. Then one night Torsten, ever the optimist, lines me up against a seven.
“You only need nineteen points,” he says. “He needs fifty-five. Variance, baby.”
That match was a bloodletting. The guy’s clearing racks like it’s CrossFit. I’m just racking and watching, occasionally remembering I’m also a participant. It’s 17-54 before I know it — he needs one more point to close me out.
I step up to break, squinting over the cue like a man peering into his own obituary. Crack. The nine-ball drops. Game over. Win by accident.
My opponent nods, forces a “well played,” and I’ve never felt less deserving of anything in my life.
The thing about winning when you’re not supposed to is that it ruins you for a while. APA bumped me from a 2 to a 5 overnight, and suddenly I was expected to earn what had just been dumb luck. Every match after that, I could feel the math tightening around my neck.
And that’s really the point. Variance always comes for you. Whether it’s a nine-ball on the break or a spreadsheet that thinks it can predict the future — the gods of chance don’t stay quiet for long.
Which brings us to The Plan.
The Plan
After publishing my projections for the top 24 picks in Yahoo’s new High Score format, my co-writer Torsten and my patient wife Dori decided we should put the model to the test — together — in a public league.
High Score rewards explosions. Each player’s best game counts each week. Everything converts to points. Points and threes are king. Defensive stats help, but they can’t carry a category. Efficiency and turnovers are nearly irrelevant. Two guards, three bigs, one utility slot — no safety nets. Simply put: it rewards chaos.
After we joined the same league and the draft clock began ticking, it hit me:
The stakes couldn’t possibly be higher.
I cover basketball. Torsten covers everything but basketball — baseball, sumo, curling, the rise and fall of minor-league mascots. He’s a category killer for every category that doesn’t matter.
Meanwhile, Dori brings her formidable skill set as our resident shopping and musical-theater analyst, armed with a retail sense for value and a Broadway sense for drama.
Which means this league isn’t just fantasy basketball; it’s a referendum on expertise itself. If I win, I’m a professional doing his job. If I lose, I’m a case study in hubris — the village idiot with a spreadsheet. And these two? They’ll never, ever let me live it down.
That nine-ball break — it’s coming for me. Like karma with a cue stick.
Round One
#2, Todd: Victor Wembanyama, FC. #3, Dori: Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, G. #6: Torsten: Cade Cunningham, G.
With Jokic off the board, the math says to take Luka second, but Luka’s already holding more body parts together than a LEGO set after a toddler rampage, so I take Wemby instead. The Alien fills it up across the board and the arrow is still pointing up. And now the defense cant just collapse on him without keeping an eye on De’Aaron Fox.
Torsten, meanwhile, says: “I picked a guy I don’t know but his numbers looked good.” Cade? Sandbagger. He’s good.
Dori opened her debut season by taking Shai and then asking, “Can I just draft all Thunder players?”
“You could, but they can’t all have the ball at once.”
Round Two
#15, Torsten: Alperen Sengun, FC. #18, Dori: LaMelo Ball, G. #19: Todd: Jalen Brunson, G.
Torsten grabs Alperen Şengün because, quote, “his numbers looked good and his name sounds like a Magic: The Gathering card.” Alperen isn’t a Sengir Vampire, but he’s pale enough, and 19-10-5 looks plenty enchanted to me.
Dori countered with LaMelo Ball — 25-5-7 last year — and at this point I’m taking her seriously. He’s looked even better this year in a small sample size. It’s a solid statistical pick.
I had Brunson at #7 on my preseason High Score leaderboard — a point-guard you draft when you care about math and metabolism. He runs Madison Square Garden like it’s his living room, except the furniture costs millions and occasionally bursts into tears. 2.3 threes, 26 points, and a 7-to-2.5 assist-to-turnover ratio. At #19 he’s found money.
Round Three
#22, Todd: Evan Mobley, FC. #23, Dori: LeBron James, FC. #26: Torsten: Austin Reaves, G.
Despite plenty of flashy stars still on the board, I consulted my spreadsheet and took Evan Mobley, the NBA’s quietest prodigy, and #12 on my High Score leaderboard. 16-9-3 and a couple blocks, and solid efficiency as long as you don’t put him on the stripe. I see him spending more time in the paint under Atkinson’s system, and continuing to expand his role.
The pick is controlled, restrained — surgical even.
“I took LeBron!” Dori announces proudly. I think better of reminding her that the best selling album the year LeBron was drafted was “Fallen” by Evanescence, and remain quiet. By the way guys, marriage life hack: keep your mouth shut. Works every time.
Torsten called taking Austin Reaves before the first pick of the entire draft, which tells you everything about him as a L.A. basketball fan — I don’t think he’s ever seen a game the Lakers weren’t in. But who am I to judge — Austin did just put up a 51-11-9 with two steals, and that kind of detonation is exactly what High Score wants.
Round Four
#35, Torsten: Franz Wagner, FC. #38, Dori: De’Aaron Fox, G. #39: Todd: Paolo Banchero, FC.
Torsten starts the round by asking “I can’t find Boban Marjonovic, does he still play?”
“Afraid not.” My co-writer shops for fantasy picks by watching Happy Gilmore 2.
He settles for Franz Wagner. When asked why, he said, “He’s German, he must be efficient.” Fortunately, High Score is fairly lenient on Franz’s sub-30% three point rate (which hasn’t stopped him from trying seven hucks a game), as well as his assist to turnover ratio of 1.
Dori takes De’Aaron Fox, cornering the market on guards. It’s like she’s drafting an all-NBA fast break.
I grab Paolo, a walking 26-8-5 with splits that are a bit better than Franz despite his lack of being German.
Round Five
#42, Todd: Desmond Bane, G. #43, Dori: Myles Turner, FC. #46: Torsten: Joel Embiid, FC.
Torsten raised an eyebrow. “Bane over Kawhi?”
Oh sweet child.
“He’ll be meeting with his lawyers on load management days,” I told him. “Besides, threes are worth four, and I need a guard.”
I like Bane’s fit — dependable shooting, steady usage, and he doesn’t come with a court date.
Dori grabs Myles Turner, and that’s when the pattern clicks.
“Hold up,” I ask Dori, “are you just taking guys with braids and ‘locs?”
Without missing a beat: “Don’t forget bone structure.”
Feeling inadequate for offering none of these things, I glance over to see which Lithuanian teenager Torsten is grabbing. He smiles and locks in Joel Embiid. “He was an MVP like what, two seasons ago? I’m betting on a return to form.”
And I’m betting on Torsten’s Biggest Fantasy Basketball Disappointments article giving us a medical update on Joel’s cartilage.
Round Six
#55, Torsten: Zach LeVine, G. #58, Dori: Deandre Ayton, FC. #59: Todd: Lauri Markkanen, FC.
“Bold pick for Zach,” I tell Torsten. “Everybody dogs on him, but he’s a solid wing,” the Bulls homer in me says before I have a chance to stop it.
“And a hucker,” he fires back.
Dori stays on brand with Ayton — another entry in her “Braids, ‘Locs & Bone Structure” draft thesis. I’m looking forward to find out if having both Luka scream at him and LeBron glare at him after every missed spot on defense finally breaks the poor guy’s brain.
Meanwhile, my plan crystallizes. Lauri Markkanen completes my Finnish and French master plan — efficiency, discipline, and international tax implications.
Torsten asks, “Didn’t you used to be a hater on Lauri?”
“I thought he was a mid defender who didn’t finish strong when he was on the Bulls. Turns out he doesn’t suck, the Bulls do as an organization.”
He’s playing for a contract in Utah, and the team’s quietly asked him to extend for less than the max. I expect righteous fury.
Round Seven
#62, Todd: Jalen Duren, FC. #63, Dori: Julius Randle, FC. #66: Torsten: Matas Buzelis, FC.
I went with Jalen Duren, a young big I really like — built like a horse, motor for days, just a monster in the paint. The man sets screens like he’s mad at the floor.
Dori followed with Julius Randle, another strong entry in her Bone Structure Cinematic Universe. It’ll be fun watching him and Gobert play bumper cars in the paint on offense.
Torsten suddenly proclaims, “You wil RUE the day you let Matas Buzelis fall to me!”
He actually drafted an adolescent from Lithuania. In the very next pick, some rando from the public league grabs Jarrett Allen, a guaranteed double-double with 70% shooting. Meanwhile, my dude has drafted a sophomore who averaged 8 points and 3 boards in 19 minutes, in the hopes that he turns into Jarrett. (I do like Matas; in my 2024 NBA Draft lookback, I had him moving up from 11th to 7th if that class was re-drafted today.)
Allen’s a finished product; Buzelis is a concept album. It’s the perfect Torsten pick — speculative upside, and it puts him only one pick away from an all-white starting five.
Round Eight
#75, Torsten: CJ McCollum, G. #78, Dori: Norman Powell, G/FC. #79: Todd: Anfernee Simons, G.
Torsten went with CJ McCollum, and honestly, I can’t even fault him. I told him before the draft — in this format, you’re not chasing averages, you’re drafting TNT. CJ can huck with the best of them. The man will drop a 46-point masterpiece out of nowhere and then go 3-for-15 the next night, but that’s the beauty of High Score — you only need the masterpiece.
Dori countered with Norm Powell, and right now that pick’s aging like fine wine. With Terry Rozier on leave in Miami for his mafia connections, Powell’s suddenly the top gun in the Heat’s backcourt. She might’ve lucked into a 35-point week waiting to happen.
I took Anfernee Simons, a guy built for High Score’s math — three treys a game, the shaky FG% doesn’t hurt you here, and a 20-4-5 baseline that spikes when he gets hot. With Tatum out for the year, Simons will need to eat.
Round Nine
#82, Todd: Cam Thomas, G/FC. #83, Dori: Jalen Green, G. #66: Torsten: Mikal Bridges, FC.
Speaking of bombers — Cam Thomas. The man treats shot selection like a suggestion. Every game’s a coin flip between 12 points on 18 shots or 40 points on 18 shots. He’s a walking heat check, a one-man microwave, and the only player in the league who looks offended when you pass him the ball with fewer than eight seconds left on the shot clock.
Dori grabbed Jalen Green, which tracks — she’s chasing aesthetics and upside. Booker certainly could use the extra gun in Phoenix’s backcourt. He’ll give you 28 one night and then vanish into a defensive fog for a week, but when the switch flips, he’s fireworks.
Torsten rounded out with Mikal Bridges, who’s surprisingly well-rounded for his team. The points are good, but he gets interesting when he’s putting up defensive stats, like his gem last week: 16-5-6-3-2. Still, its unclear if Torsten thought he was grabbing Miles.
Round Ten
#95, Torsten: Aaron Nesmith, FC. #98, Dori: Kevin Porter Jr., G. #99: Todd: Andrew Wiggins, G/FC.
Torsten closed with Aaron Nesmith. Indiana doesn’t have much to play for this year, so the youth should get some run. Defensible.
Dori went with Kevin Porter Jr.. He had some good games at the tail end of last season for the Bucks and they’ll still need him this year, now that Dame is only present on their salary cap. But who am I kidding, look at this man’s bone structure. Dori didn’t build a team, she built a talent agency for male models.
She looks over at my screen and goes, “Didn’t you draft Wiggins on your last six teams?” She’s not wrong. At this point, Andrew Wiggins is my fantasy basketball security blanket — my emotional support small forward. Every year the hype’s gone, every year he slides, and every year he quietly fills in the gaps: positional flexibility, a few threes, a handful of boards, the occasional 22-point reminder that he exists.
The Teams
Todd: “Trebuchets & Trey Buckets”
Starters: Wembanyama, Brunson, Banchero, Mobley, Bane, Markkanen
Bench: Duren, Cam, Simons, Wiggins
2024–25 Team Average: 24.2 PTS / 7.6 REB / 5.2 AST / 1.1 STL / 0.9 BLK
Projected High Score: 288
The plan was discipline with a splash radius. I built around size, efficiency, and players who fill every column — my spiritual successors to Shawn Marion. Wemby, Mobley, and Lauri make up a frontcourt that looks like a Nordic cathedral: tall, elegant, and occasionally terrifying. Brunson and Bane keep the math tight in the backcourt, Cam runs the variance engine, and Duren sets screens on the cleaning crew after the game is over.
Trebuchets & Trey Buckets doesn’t just aim to win. It lobs precision artillery across categories.
Torsten: “Austin, We Have a Problem”
Starters: Cade, Reaves, Wagner, Embiid, Sengun, McCollum
Bench: LaVine, Buzelis, Nesmith, Malik Bridges
2024–25 Team Average: 21.4 PTS / 6.6 REB / 4.9 AST / 1.0 STL / 0.6 BLK
Projected High Score: 278
Torsten’s draft was a sociology experiment. He started by saying he picked “the guy whose numbers looked good” — then accidentally drafted an entire All-Star team. Cade, Reaves, Sengun, and Wagner actually fit together frighteningly well, if you ignore that Matas Buzelis is still trying to figure out where the locker room is.
This is the classic Torsten cocktail: half intuition, half accident, garnished with misplaced confidence. But credit where it’s due — Embiid, CJ, and LaVine give him legitimate firepower. His team can score, rebound, and huck like a man trying to break an algorithm. Variance, baby.
Dori: “Fifty Shades of Shai”
Starters: Shai, LaMelo, LeBron, Turner, Randle, Powell
Bench: Ayton, Fox, KPJ, Green
2024–25 Team Average: 26.3 PTS / 7.2 REB / 5.6 AST / 1.5 STL / 0.9 BLK
Projected High Score: 273
What started as a vibe draft turned into a clinic in value. Shai and LaMelo headline one of the league’s most dynamic backcourts; Fox and Powell add pace and pop, while Turner and Randle anchor a frontcourt that plays with muscle and IQ. Ayton and Nesmith give her versatility off the bench, and KPJ brings a volatile scoring punch.
It’s the most balanced of the three — not by design, but by instinct. She drafted for aesthetics and wound up with a contender.
Final Thought
After all my hand-wringing about this draft being all downside, at the end of it, I’m finding myself proud of my crew. Three of the top four projected teams belong to us.
We built a dynasty out of sarcasm, spreadsheets, and good hair.
But the thing about projections is — they’re still just math written in pencil. In High Score, one heater, one injury, or one lucky nine-ball can flip the script overnight.
Because no plan survives the first shot fired. And with these chuckers on our rosters — shots be flyin’.
Todd / 120 Proof Ball
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