Fantasy Football - A 2025 Retrospective
Mirror Mirror on the Wall… You Absolute Son of a Bitch
Oh, hindsight… you devilishly accurate mirror. You beguiling siren. You… malevolent Greek god whose only joy is whispering “you knew better” while pointing at the wreckage. I’m running out of metaphors, but you get the point.
Anyway, if you recall — and judging by our readership numbers, you don’t — we wrote a fantasy football draft manifesto before the season. It was a bold, slightly unhinged document laying out what to do, what not to do, who to target, and who to avoid like a Wuhan lab assistant circa March 2019. There may also have been some questionable fashion advice. That part I neither confirm nor deny.
As with all predictions, some hit. Some missed. Some exploded so violently on the launchpad that NASA would like a word. We’ll get into those shortly, but first, some housekeeping.
Season in Review (a.k.a. Why You’re Still Reading)
I played in five leagues this season, which is about par for the course and also about the upper limit before loved ones start asking questions. Results:
1 championship
1 runner-up
2 third-place finishes
1 team that missed the playoffs by a country mile and deserves a shallow grave
Total entry fees: $455
Total payouts: $1,375
That’s a pretty damn good ROI, skewed in my favor by the championship coming in the highest-stakes league. Sometimes the universe smiles on you. Sometimes it steals your catalytic converter. This year, it smiled.
Important context: while draft positions varied and there were dynasty/keeper wrinkles mixed in, the overall strategy remained almost identical across leagues. If you read the manifesto, there were specific drums I beat relentlessly, and I stuck to them in the money leagues like my mouth would stick to Salma Hayek’s—
…nope. Wrong blog. Moving on.
My one truly disastrous league? That one deserves scrutiny. Yes, injuries played a role — the fantasy equivalent of stepping on a rake — but that wasn’t the whole story. The real problem was that other managers drafted well. Worse, they listened. Several times, my primary target was sniped one pick ahead of me, which is either bad luck or a cautionary tale about telling your friends your strategy while they nod politely and sharpen knives under the table.
One of my third-place finishes came with what I thought was my most loaded roster. Alas, I ran headfirst into Puka Nacua’s 200+ yard nuclear event in Seattle, which is like being T-boned by a freight train driven by God himself. No roster survives that.
The runner-up team? Honestly, I thought it was my weakest. High-floor, low-ceiling guys everywhere. A roster built to make the playoffs, not win the damn thing. Sure enough, I snuck into the finals… where my opponent unveiled Drake Maye’s five-touchdown masterclass and Derrick Henry doing Derrick Henry things, i.e., reenacting scenes from There Will Be Blood. Hats off, my dude. I wasn’t winning that matchup on any day that ends in “y.”
The Championship Team (a Brief Victory Lap)
Because I’m writing this and my vanity requires feeding, let’s talk about the championship squad.
Post-draft, I liked it but didn’t love it. In retrospect, that’s because I absolutely nailed wide receiver:
Ja’Marr Chase
A.J. Brown
Jaxon Smith-Njigba (more to come on this, we’ll talk…)
Zay Flowers
Early-season revelation Quentin Johnston in reserve
At running back, I did as well as one can while mostly punting the position:
Breece Hall
Javonte Williams
Jacory Croskey-Merritt
Then I committed a cardinal sin. I spit directly on my own manifesto by drafting Jalen Hurts and George Kittle when they fell past their ADPs. This was dumb. I admit it freely. But temptation is real, and I am but flesh and beer.
Finally, I got insanely lucky on injuries. Outside of Kittle doing what Kittle always does, I escaped mostly unscathed, streaming Jake Tonges and A.J. Barner like a deranged riverboat gambler until Kittle returned. Tonges even dropped a 20-spot in the final, which is the kind of thing that gets statues built in my mind.
This is fantasy football. The best team doesn’t always win. The worst team sometimes does. And the middle class decides everything while screaming at RedZone. Still, if you followed my advice, you probably did okay.
Let’s get into the carnage.
Running Backs: A Mixed Bag of Pain
The guys I was bullish on (beyond the obvious Bijan Robinson and Jahmyr Gibbs) were Tony Pollard, Aaron Jones, and Austin Ekeler, with cautious optimism for Chuba Hubbard and Alvin Kamara.
Results? Uneven, at best.
Gibbs & Bijan: studs, as advertised.
Pollard: big hit. Four-digit scrimmage yards, receptions galore.
Jones: fine, not great, missed time.
Ekeler: catastrophic Achilles tear in Week 1. Career-altering. Nothing you can do.
Hubbard: aggressively average until losing his job to Rico Dowdle, who went absolutely berserk.
Kamara: age, rookie QB, garbage O-line. Father Time remains undefeated.
I didn’t do you too many favors here, much like I didn’t do my dad any favors gifting him Fernet Branca last Father’s Day. But if you followed the process — waiting on RBs — you likely survived.
Avoid List: Nailed It
I told you to avoid rookies Ashton Jeanty, Omarion Hampton, TreyVeon Henderson, R.J. Harvey, and Kaleb Johnson.
Jeanty: fine late, too late to matter.
Hampton: injured.
Harvey: replacement-level.
Johnson: Pittsburgh witness protection program.
Henderson: usable, but a lot of his goal-line carries were vultured by Stevenson.
Biggest miss? Devon Achane. Leaving him out of the stud tier is like turning down Balvenie 21 because it’s not Macallan 25. Inexcusable. He was available at the turn in my championship league. I picked first so I was nowhere near being able to get him, but even then it hit me pretty hard. For all the caterwauling I did and will continue to do about waiting on running backs, I would have sommersaulted through broken glass to get Achane at 12 if that’s where I picked. My bad. It won’t happen again. That’s a lie, but a well-intentioned one.
Honorable mention: Javonte Williams. Clear starter by preseason’s end, productive, on three of my four money teams. That one I’ll take. He lacked the certainty of a guy like Pollard but he fit the veteran back with a predictable role mold, and I should have included him in the group.
Wide Receivers: This Is Where I Ate
I wasn’t bullish on guys so much as the position itself. I demanded you load up. I suggested even taking receivers with your first four picks. If you did, congratulations. You’re likely wealthier as a result, and I accept tips. If you didn’t, that’s on you. Listen, this wide receiver-centric, no-or-hero running back strategy is fairly new to the game, but it won’t remain a secret of the successful for very much longer. Ok? Ok then.
Chase
Nacua
St. Brown
Collins
Lamb
Nobody won without one.
Named hits:
Davante Adams
Zay Flowers
Tee Higgins
Jameson Williams
Jakobi Meyers (who turned into Thanos in Jacksonville)
I probably named a dozen or more guys in the initial piece despite focusing more on the group at large, and nearly all of them hit. If you didn’t end up with enough of these guys on your roster, it’s not because they weren’t there for the taking. It’s ok, you’ll listen better next time.
Misses? Sigh, there always are a few.
Mike Evans (injuries)
Garrett Wilson (quarterback terrorism, before his own season-ending injury)
The unforgivable sin: forgetting to mention Jaxon Smith-Njigba. This one hurts. It limits exactly how much trash I can talk here. I knew he was awesome. Drafted him everywhere. Forgot to say it. That’s on me. I will atone with bottom-shelf Prosecco, and tomorrow’s inevitable penance of headaches and mud blow.
Also, too many shares of Tyreek Hill didn’t kill me, but his consistent availability where I was able to get him should’ve been a warning sign. In this outlier case, the conventional wisdom knew somethign I didn’t, and it showed. Lesson learned.
Quarterbacks: I Was Loud. I Was Right.
I screamed: WAIT ON QB.
Josh Allen? Fine. The way he’s a virtual lock for double digit rushing touchdowns means he’s basically guaranteed to be QB1. So if you paid up for him, I can’t fault you.
Everyone else you paid up for? Mahomes? Jackson? It probably cost you dearly.
My late-round hits:
Drake Maye
Trevor Lawrence
Matthew Stafford
Dak Prescott
Justin Herbert
Sam Darnold
Jared Goff
Stafford threw 40 touchdowns. Maye finished QB2. Lawrence won leagues with consistent weekly top 10 finishes at the position, including two rushing touchdowns in a 20+ point performance in championship week. I could go on, but why? You get the point. Why on Earth spend valuable draft capital on a quarterback when perfectly good options will be there when kickers and defenses start coming off the board.
Misses:
Tua (benched)
C.J. Stroud (waiver wire tourism)
Yeah, I failed to see how absolutely done Tua appears to be. I had zero shares this season because I went after Maye so heavily, but if you suffered as a result of my mentioning him as a late round target, my bad. If I could redo one thing, however, I’d yell louder about Stafford. He’s chaotic, flawed, aggressive, and fantasy gold. He offers you essentially zero rushing upside, and is as likely to commit a calamitous fourth quarter turnover as he is to lead a game-winning drive, but positive touchdown regression was all but assured, and he delivered. Sadly, I had only one share myself. Too many others benefited from my prescient genius here.
Tight Ends: Punt, Unless You Didn’t
Quick, what do the following guys all have in common?
Dallas Goedert
Kyle Pitts
Hunter Henry
Harold Fannin
Jake Ferguson
If you said they all go by the nickname, Turd, you’re wrong. If you said they were all in the top ten in fantasy scoring at the tight end position in 2025, ding ding ding, we have a winner.
Conversely, what do these strapping young fellas have in common?
Sam LaPorta
Mark Andrews
TJ Hockenson
Evan Engram
David Njoku
Sexier names than the first group, and shittier production. Nobody of this group finished in the top 15 at the position. I told you to draft McBride and Bowers like WRs, and freaking nailed it, Bowers’ unfortunate injuries notwithstanding.
My sins:
Drafting George Kittle
Not screaming louder about Tucker Kraft
Kittle getting hurt is as reliable as death and taxes. Yes, he had some nice games, including semi-final week against the Seahawks before he - suprise!!! - got hurt again. And I did say in the original article that every player has a value so just because I suggested avoiding drafting a player didn’t mean to not draft him if he slipped absurdly beyond his projected draft position… but that’s just rationalization.
Kraft, on the other hand, was a trendy breakout candidate among fantasy pundits, to the point where I figured he would go way before I would have been comfortable drafting him. But he didn’t, and before he blew out his knee, he richly rewarded those who took him. I had a strong feeling he would, and I for whatever reason voiced it very tepidly.
Lesson learned: when you feel something, say it with your whole chest.
The Close: What This All Actually Means
Fantasy football is not about being perfect. It’s about being right more often than you’re wrong, and knowing when to ignore your own worst impulses. It’s about process, patience, and occasionally surviving a week where your quarterback commits crimes against humanity.
If you followed the blueprint, you likely cashed. If you didn’t, I hope you at least learned something. And if you somehow both listened to me and ignored me at the same time — congratulations, you’re doing it right.
Next year, I’ll miss something obvious again. I’ll overthink one thing. I’ll underthink another. But I’ll still be here, drink in hand, yelling into the void — because fantasy football isn’t about certainty.
It’s about chaos.
And if you pay attention, profit.
Torsten / 120 Proof Ball
Proof that the internet was a mistake.
