Trash talk has a line, usually found somewhere between ‘your mom smells of elderberries’ and ‘your mom is the village mule,’ since everybody’s had a ride.

What follows is Torsten’s confessional about his own brush with extracurricular justice in a high school soccer match involving a fast striker, a slow referee, and an insult so nuclear it triggered a response normally reserved for nature documentaries.

Torsten builds the Mount Rushmore of the greatest smack-talkers across sports history — the artists, the sociopaths, the philosophers, and Philip Rivers.

In battles between David and Goliath, we always cheer for David. But, what if David is a an asshole?